Every little boy (and girl for all I know) dreams of being a superhero one day. They want to fly over rooftops, save the pretty princess, and be a soldier that civilians look up to with an almost worship like respect.
I gave up the dreams of being Spiderman or Batman years ago, but I never gave up the dream of being important.
To this day I still want to be a hero, just not of the “super” variety. I want to touch the world. I want to look back at the end of my life and say “I really made a difference.” I want to be important, to have a lasting effect, to be remembered. But most of all I want to help people. I want someone to look up to me, I want to be a hero for at least one person. And I’ve struggled for a long time on just how to do that. I don’t believe I have any gifts or skills that will put me in any position to be of any influence to anyone.
For a while I turned to music. Some of my favorite bands and musicians have helped me through some really tough times. Even though I’ve only met a few of them, they are heroes of mine. I look up to them and I’ll always remember them as having a lasting influence in my life. I wanted to be that. I wanted to reach people and help them through music. Until I realized I have almost no musical ability. I play drums, but only for fun. I’ve never considered even for a minute trying to make it as a drummer. I’m simply not good enough, and I don’t have the drive to make myself good enough.
After I realized that, that’s when I turned to writing these little blog posts. I don’t have a whole lot of followers, I know that. I also know that realistically only about an average of one person reads what I post.
But maybe I’m wrong.
I’m writing this on the off chance that I am wrong.
If you’re reading this or have read what I’ve written in the past, thank you. So much. A varying degree of thought goes in to each one, but they aren’t always easy to write. And I pray that I’ve helped at least one person out in any way through this. In the position I’m in right now, this is the only way I can think of to try and help, until I realize I’m not really good at this either.
Also, if you’re reading this and are going through a tough time, please talk to me. You can stay anon. I just want to give my best effort at helping. I’m a pretty good listener.
I may only be in training, but I’d love to have the opportunity to help.