"We have played chess! We were on that frozen lake and you said I was boring, then you took off your energy mask and you were Cameron Diaz…ok, there’s a chance this was a dream."
"And they’re both…what’s the nice word for selfish? Independent. They’re both independent."
"She’s your girlfriend? She’s a girl…and your friend? Don’t humanize the enemy, Ted!!"
"Well the Knicks lost. It’s sad, really. They had a real shot. And then, out of nowhere, it’s game over. And why? Why, Robin? The Knicks lost because they were afraid of getting hurt so they didn’t even try. You know what, I don’t think the Knicks deserved my love to begin with. The Knicks suck!"
"Once you go Asian, you go back Caucasian."
"Ey girl, whatcha name is?!"