What's your opinion on Ayn Rand's philosophy of Objectivism?
The only thing of Rand’s that I’ve read is “Atlas Shrugged,” so I’m not 100% familiar with the idea. I supported a lot of the free-market capitalism that she proposed in that book, but I also disagreed with quite a bit.
Objectivism, as I understand it, is the idea that reality exists regardless of a person’s awareness of it, it is simply something our consciousness allows us to tap into. I sort of agree with that. I don’t believe reality would cease to exist without humanity’s conscious awareness of it, but I think reality exists within God, not within itself. Nature does not contain everything.
As an economic system, I understand where she’s coming from, but I don’t think it’ll work. And, from what I can tell, she doesn’t believe in charity. She believes in only doing things when you can get something out of it. I strongly disagreed with that premise in Atlas Shrugged. However, I don’t beleive in strict government regulation. I believe in some, the FDA is extremely helpful, but for the most part I support the free market. I don’t like Laissez Faire economics, however, which Rand was a strong supporter of. The Progressive Era and the era of the Robber Barons in America kind of showed that that ideology will not work. Humans are horrible. They take advantage of each other all the time. Social Darwinism cannot work when the people at the top suppress others from rising up due to initiative and drive because of their greed. People are selfish. No one works for the sake of ability and work anymore, like they did in Atlas Shrugged. They work for money. They work to gain wealth. That is where Laissez Faire will fail us.
I think her thoughts for a society based on personal initiative and drive is a beautiful idea, but it can never happen in a fallen world. She didn’t believe in a fallen world, and that is where we disagree most strongly. I have the same thoughts about her beliefs as I do about socialism: great on paper, but will never work. We saw that in the Great Depression. Hoover believed in personal initiative to right the economy, FDR believed in government regulation. One of those got us out of the Depression. One didn’t. I dislike the government and giving it any power, but I know that its necessary to an extent.
I'm a little disgusted over the "throw him a bone" comment. If you have to flaunt your body to get a man, you seriously need to re-think what kind of relationship you're looking for. A mature, God fearing man, won't degrade you in such a way as never looking past how good you'll look on his arm, or what you can do for him physically. Thank you, Nick, for wording your comments the way that you did. They were 100% truthful.
Thank you. I was a little worried that the way I worded that came across as me insisting that it was the woman’s responsibility to not let a man treat them like that, but what I meant to say was that a man WON’T treat you like that. That is the attitude of an immature boy. Don’t settle for that. A man, a man you should long to be with over those boys, will be disgusted and angered at that kind of attitude. If I ever come across a guy who thinks like that, or if I ever see that attitude in my friends, I won’t take it lightly. It is not a girls fault if you disrespect her. It is not ever her fault if you think you deserve sex from her. It is totally the boys fault for thinking those things.
It is an attitude that needs to be eradicated and only maturity can do it. The way to eradicate it is to not pander to it, not allow those things to keep happening. The way girls can do that is to not settle or accept those kinds of guys, to not let them have any place in your life.
That’s all I mean by that. If guys have that attitude, it isn’t your fault, but it is your responsibility on how you act towards it. Obviously, never hate them. Hate is bad. Don’t be abrasive or hurtful. Don’t stoop to their level. You must correct them, but with love. And never accept it in a guy you’re dating. Never ever allow that to be your relationship.
It hurts liking someone you know isn't right for you, but if you know they aren't right for you and you date them anyway you are going to come out hurting a million times worse in the end. I've gone through that, no matter much you tell yourself it might be different, they don't change. The right girl will come out of nowhere when least expect it.
Oh I know she won’t change and I know I won’t change her. It’s just hard to accept, because she knows right. She knows what to look for. She tells everyone that she is looking for that when she’s really not. And that’s hard.
But it doesn’t matter. She’s incredibly disinterested in me now, so it doesn’t even matter at all.
Parts of the previous post is relatively true though. People see it like if a girl hasn't slept with a guy she's a prude, if she has she's a whore, and if guys sleep with someone they get high fives and praise from their friends. The media pushes girls to act/dress sexy and look like you model for Victoria's Secret,but if someone tries to take advantage of her it's her fault. If girls cover up and dress modesty people feel sorry for your boyfriend and tell you to "Throw him a bone". (True Story)
No. I’m sorry, but no.
All of that is immature attitude. I’ve never called a girl a prude for refusing to sleep with someone, I’ve respected her for knowing and standing up for her values. I’ve never called a girl a whore for sleeping with someone. If they regret it, I help them recognize its a mistake and and help them forgive themselves. If they don’t regret it, fair enough. They have different values and opinions than me. I won’t hate or disrespect you for that.
We don’t care how you dress. A man doesn’t care how you dress. That’s superficial. A man cares about your heart and your soul, not your looks. I’ve never been upset that a girl doesn’t dress immodestly, I respect a girl who doesn’t give into the pressure of revealing every part of their body to every guy. I’ve never disrespected a girl for wearing exactly what they want, immodest or not. She doesn’t have to consult me before she dresses herself. She’s an adult. She knows what she’s comfortable in. I might have my opinions, but I keep them to myself because it is not my life so I have no right to dictate how it’s run.
I respect a girl who respects herself, who knows her values and doesn’t surrender them for boys.
I’m not saying that attitude doesn’t exist, I’m saying it only exists in immature boys who should not be given any attention whatsoever. Once people look on them with pity and sadness instead of humor or praise (like Jersey Shore) they will change. Until they do, do not indulge them. Don’t allow them to get their way. Don’t surrender and disrespect yourself for them.
“Don’t be slutty, don’t have sex. But be sexy. If you’re too sexy though and you get raped, then that’s you’re own fault because you’re not actually supposed to listen to us about being sexy, even though we tell you your value is derived from how sexy you are. If you get into a position of power, we will assume that you used your sex appeal to get there and not your brains and we will mock you even though we told you the only thing that mattered was your sex appeal. Make yourself accessible to me, but holy shit stop being so desperate and needy. Don’t be a tease. If we want to have sex with you, don’t friendzone us, even though we just fucking told you not to have sex.”—
From what I can understand, the patriarchy is a set of standards derived by male leaders to oppress women (even though it seems like the term is just used to refer to anything that a girl doesn’t like about the world. Its a way to victimize women. To say that its someone’s fault and demand they change instead of stepping up and changing things. That’s just my opinion, though.)
The entire above written statement is the attitude of a boy, a child, an immature punk. A man would not say that. Instead of berating and changing the attitude of men, how about we help boys grow up and become men. My friends and I do not have any of those attitudes because we aren’t children anymore.
Further, I don’t know any guy who acts like or believes that. Was this actually written by a man being serious? Or was it written by a girl hyperbolizing into sensationalism? What evidence do we have that a majority of males think this way? None. What evidence does this present that men force this idea into culture? None. Its just baiting an argument, its baiting disunion between the sexes. That’s not feminism and I’m not ok with that.
Do you ever know that someone isn’t right for you? Like you know they aren’t spiritually, emotionally, or mentally mature enough, they aren’t what you’re looking for in so many ways as far as maturity and honesty. You know they will be bad for you.
But you want them anyway.
You just share so many common interests and she’s just so attractive and appealing. That’s where I’m at right now. Trying to get my head and heart to agree on something never works.
I am officially home for two weeks. Two weeks with literally nothing to do. Normally if I’m on break from school I still have work. Or if I’m taking a weekend off work, I still have “I should write that paper” in the back of my head.
But no. From now until January 4th I have absolutely nothing going on. I’m going to read so much, study my Bible, maybe write some, hang out with my friends, play drums, browse book stores and music shops. Everything.
I can’t help looking at God and thinking “why me?”
The essence of life, Life Himself, descended into the world of death, surrendered to death, became the opposite of His very nature, and defeated it, all for me. And I have no clue why. I cannot imagine ever doing anything to deserve that. Ever. In fact, every day I prove to Him that I deserve His wrath and judgement and condemnation. So why love me?
I cannot grasp a love like that. I can’t. I can only embrace it, be humbled by it, and experience it. Its a place of rest, of peace, of joy. God’s love is a place of pure life.
Because of all the relationship stuff you've been posting, are you looking for a girlfriend?
You guys know me better than that, I hate relationships. haha.
But seriously, this is a tentative “no.” I have a lot of things I’m dealing with in myself, so it would be unfair for me to date someone.
Looking around at all of my friends who are falling for boys that are undeserving has made me step back and take a look at myself. Its made me realize that now is the time, well it was probably several years ago, but better late than never, to mature and become a man of God. To really understand what that means and to take steps to be it. Naturally, this will take a lot of time, effort, energy, and attention. I’ve got to found out what it means to be a man of God, what responsibilities and actions that entails, and then take active steps to get there. This means I’ll be focused on myself a lot, not in a selfish way, just in a way to get me to a place where I can follow God with everything I am. This means cleaning out certain aspects, readjusting others, strengthening some. Its going to be tough. I’ll be applying all of that attention to my self and my own spirituality, which means I would not be able to give all of my energy and attention to a girl I chose to date. That is not fair to her. I will not date someone unless I can be fully committed to them and committed to giving them all of me. Plus, I want a mature woman of God. I cannot expect for one of them to date me until I’m a mature man of God.
But I did say “tentative no.” I could change my mind about this if I find the right girl, that girl being someone who understands and accepts that I have chosen to do this process, who respects that decision and who is willing to help me along the way. I will date a girl with that attitude if she comes along.
How do you know God still hears you? I've prayed for direction for something in my life so hard, I'm at rock bottom and I feel like He's not there.
Trust me, I can relate to this more than you know. Last month was probably the lowest point in my life. I’ve never felt so discouraged, so lost, so broken. I’ve never doubted God as much as I did then. But once I got through it, I’ve discovered it was really the most spiritually rewarding time of my life. Its led me to where I am now, which is much closer and much more committed to God than I have ever been. Think about it: whenever you are happy, you don’t think about things, you have little to no introspection. You don’t evaluate your weaknesses or make any steps to improve, you simply are in a state of content equilibrium. When you are broken, you are forced to evaluate your life and decide how to improve. God is a God of the broken, of the humbled, of the downcast. It is incredibly hard to convince someone they need God when they are happy.
For example, through my pain last month I was shown just how little faith I had in God. I thought my faith was strong, I thought I was Godly. God shook me down to show me my weaknesses. He showed me just how immature and unfocused on Him that I was. He showed me a lot about myself that I was hoping to ignore, to pretend it didn’t exist. It was so hard seeing that side of myself, but now I can take real steps to improve. Maybe God is just showing you parts of yourself that aren’t good. Maybe He’s showing you weaknesses.
If you’re a reader, I highly suggest you read “A Grief Observed” by C.S. Lewis. It is his journal, his notes, after the death of his wife. It is brilliant and helped me through so much last month. One of the most profound thoughts I’ve ever heard about suffering came from chapter two of that book. He writes: “I had been warned - I had warned myself - not to reckon on worldly happiness. We were even promised suffering. They were part of the program. We were even told “Blessed are they that mourn,” and I accepted it. I’ve got nothing that I hadn’t bargained for. Of course it is different when the thing happens to oneself, not to others, and in reality not imagination. Yes; but should it, to a sane man, make quite such a difference as this? No. And it wouldn’t for a man whose faith had been real faith, whose concern for other people’s sorrow had been real concern. If my house has collapsed at one blow, that is because it was a house of cards…I must surely admit that, if my house was a house of cards, the sooner it was knocked down the better. And only suffering could do it…God has not been trying an experiment on my faith or love in order to find out their quality. He knew it already. It was I who didn’t. He always knew that my temple was a house of cards. His only way of making me realize the fact was to knock it down.” Christians have this idea that God tests people so that He can know the quality of your faith when that isn’t true. He tests people so they can know just how weak it is.
So I encourage you to just humble yourself. God is hearing you. He is suffering with you. He loves you more than you can fathom, so when you are in pain, He is in pain. That must mean that the pain is necessary. He’s with you. He has promised to never leave you or forsake you. So just be still. God speaks in a still, calm voice. Sometimes you cannot hear Him talk over the noise of your shouting and thrashing. Just be patient, be trusting, and be humble. Try to figure out what He may be trying to show you about yourself.
Until you do, take C.S. Lewis’ advice. In a Grief Observed he wrote probably one of my favorite quotes of his: “I know the Great Commandments and I better be getting on with them.” That should be our response to suffering.
Thanks for the awesome post about Christians dating! Made me reconsider a few things.
No problem! I’m here to help in any way I can!
If you need help with your reconsidering, just let me know. I’d love to offer any advice I can. You can come off anon to keep it private, or stay anon if you don’t want me to know who you are, or just not even bother with my inadequate advice. haha